


classy soviet red

by allonsytosherwoodforest



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Canon Compliant, Established Relationship, Gen, Humor, M/M, Washington Capitals, nicky has no mouth to brain filter when drunk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-10
Updated: 2017-10-10
Packaged: 2019-01-15 13:26:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 920
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12321960
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allonsytosherwoodforest/pseuds/allonsytosherwoodforest
Summary: Nicky was drunk. He was so fucking drunk and it was Alex’s fault.





	classy soviet red

Nicky was drunk. He was so fucking drunk and it was Alex’s fault.

“Nicky! Just one drink, then we go home.” Except it was never just one drink with Alex, and now Nicky was completely sloshed in some bar in Toronto after shot who-knows-what with some woman’s phone number in his pocket and Alex’s tie around his head.

“I hate you so much,” Nicky slurred, slipping further into Alex’s side.

Alex, the bastard, just grinned and took another shot. Russian blood be damned, Alex was gonna fucking feel that in the morning.

“I’m wear really nice underwear right now,” Alex said.

“Alex, since when have I given a shit about your underwear,” Nicky said, batting the tail of Alex’s tie out of his eyes.

“Nicky, guess what color my underwear is.” Nicky sighed.

“I am too fucking drunk for this.”

“Just guess!”

“I don’t know, bl-“

“Red.”

“Okay.”

“Classy Soviet red.”

“Jesus Christ, Alex.”

Alex waggled his eyebrows.

“Wanna take them off?”

“Yes, Alex. I want to take off your underwear right here in this bar and ravish you in front of all these people. Puck Daddy will love it. Take off your pants, hot shot.”

Andre, of course, chose that moment to slide back into the booth.

“Oh god, Papa, please we’re in public,” he groaned.

Nicky repressed another sigh and downed another shot. “Andre,” he said, turning towards him, “do you have an active sex life?”

Andre choked on his beer.

“What?” he coughed.

Alex threw back his head and cackled, then hauled himself up and hopped over the back of the booth.

“I’m check on the other kids. Don’t scar Burt too much.”

Nicky scoffed.

“Please, he needs to learn about these things sometime.”

Andre looked eerily similar to a deer in headlights.

“Ovi, please don’t leave me, Papa is so drunk-“

“I hear Kuzy call, must go,” Alex said, stumbling away.

“Kuzy left an hour ago!” Andre called, helplessly, trying to prop a slumping Nicky back up in the booth.

“Now the first thing you need to know about sex is that Alex loves to be bitten,” Nicky slurred.

“Oh god.”

“Alex loves it when I bite his neck and get two fingers up his-“

“OKAY! Papa! Let’s get you some water,” Andre said, frantically looking around for another teammate.

Nicky slumped forward onto Andre’s shoulder, giggling a little. “Do you know how good I am at fucking Alex? It’s like an art and I’m Leonardo fucking Da Vinci.”

Andre made a sound that might have been the beginning of a sob.

“What’s going on in this neck of the woods?” Braden said, sliding into the booth across Andre.

“Holts, thank god,” Andre said fervently. “Papa is so drunk and he’s telling me about sex with Ovi please help.”

Braden raised an eyebrow. “Is he now?” He took a pull of his beer. “You suck Ovi’s dick, Backy?” Braden asked, looking directly into Andre’s eyes.

Nicky looked offended. “Of course I suck his dick.”

“Nooo,” Andre groaned, trying to shove Nicky’s dead weight off of him. “Holts don’t do this to me.”

Braden put his chin in his hand and nodded seriously at Nicky. “Mhm, go on, tell me more about sucking our captain’s dick.”

“He really likes it when you take his balls and-“

Andre blanched and looked around the room desperately, looking as if he wished some sort of primordial sea monster would appear and swallow him whole.

And Braden was just laughing. That asshole.

“What Nicky talking about?” Alex said, appearing from the crowd with a glass of water in each hand.

“Please get your husband off of me,” Andre pleaded.

“Wait, wait, wait,” Braden said, sitting up straight, “he was just getting to the part where he got beard burn on his thighs after his 500th assist.”

Andre covered his ears and started singing to himself while Alex just laughed and planted a sloppy kiss on Nicky’s head.

“Hey,” Nicky grinned drunkenly up at Alex.

“Hi Nicky,” Alex cooed back.

“Guess what color my underwear is.”

“Nicky, you actually want me to-“

“Blue.”

A beat.

“Classy Tre Kronor blue.” Alex cackled.

“Nicky, let’s elope.”

“We’re already married.”

“Don’t care, love you so much I marry you again.” Braden groaned.

“Okay this was more fun when we were sexually scarring Andre.”

Andre shook his head frantically. “No. Nope. This is fine. This is better.”

Alex and Nicky stared at each other lovingly (and drunkenly) for a few more moments before Alex abruptly stood and said, “I’ve decided to fuck my husband in private now.”

“Use protection!” Nicky shouted over his shoulder at Andre as Alex dragged him out of the bar to the sound of a cackling Braden.

* * *

 

Nicky flopped onto the hotel bed face first and groaned. “I hate you Alex why did you let me drink so much I hate you and everything you stand for.”

“But Nicky, I love it when you drink. You talk about my dick to our adopted hockey sons. You also talk about my underwear.”

“I have never willingly discussed your underwear.”

“Then do you wanna take them off?” Alex asked, going for the waistband of his jeans.

“Alex if I see that underwear come off in my presence I’m burning them.”

Of course, Nicky took them off with his teeth five minutes later.

* * *

 

Alex stretched languidly, rolling over to flop on top of Nicky.

“You burn my underwear with passionate love making. Your dick set them on fire.”

“I’m asleep and I can’t hear you.”


End file.
